I had a therapy session with my mom and her client at the salon today. The topic of “getting there” was up for discussion. Lets just say I had my way with this one. I broke it down in phases, so that I wouldn’t be misunderstood. So here’s how it went.
The Complaint:
“I can’t wait until ________ happens… I’m just so ready because this current situation is just not working for me. And I know that once ________ happens, I’m gonna be so much better.”
So my question was,” How does waiting for _______ to happen make you feel?”
The Feeling Behind The Complaint:
“I’m anxious. I’m tired of being patient. This needs to happen, and it needs to happen soon. I just don’t understand why it hasn’t this happened yet. But when it does, I’ll be in a better place.”
The Lightbulb Moment:
One of the most profound lessons that life is teaching me, is to respect the processes of life. Everything in life is a process, and that process will happen with or without your opinion about how long it should take. We usually have no say so in them, we just go along for the ride and anxiously hope for a better situation.
The cool thing about processes is that no matter what your process is, you have to know that it is there to teach you something. And instead of being anxious for that “something” to happen, recognize the lessons to be learned around you and allow yourself to grow in certain areas.
Success at anything usually happens when the people involved are truly ready for them (whether its love, running a successful business, getting an A on a test). You have to grow in certain areas of your life to have success at anything. People usually realize this from hindsight. But once you understand and can accept that this is a life principle that does not discriminate, you can then begin to look at life differently.
My Suggestion:
Instead of finding things to complain about while you wait, try a different approach for a change. Something like:
“You know, I might not be there yet, or I might not have _________ yet, but I trust that I’ll get there. I’m thankful for where I am, because things could be so much worse than what they are. I am glad that I’m exposed to certain people, places, and things that will allow me to grow each day. Right now, I am being chiseled and sculpted, a9ond the kind of success that I want will happen when I am ready for it (spiritually, emotionally, and mentally) and if its meant for me. Meanwhile, I am getting there, I am getting better every single day, and I respect my process because I will arrive soon enough.”
Notice how different you feel when you take your focus away from what is bad, and turn it towards more positive thoughts… Better, right? Also, recognize that the minute you stop stressing about something, the sooner you get the answer you were looking for, or the sooner you see the results that you were hoping for.
And this my friends is how you practice the art of RESPECTING YOUR PROCESS. Hope it helps! 🙂
Lessons + Wisdom 