BrittNay’s Corner: What I Resist, Persists…

Today, for the first time I became aware of how often I allow my mind to be consumed by the things and experiences that don’t please me. For the first time I was able to recognize the very moment that my negative thoughts drifted so far that anxiety began to creep up on me. I started feeling anxious and couldn’t focus long enough to complete the task at hand. My emotions were all over the place, and peace was the farthest thing from me. All of this because I could not take my mind off of those things that I believed weren’t working for me. From my current 9-5 and my living situation, to my diet and all the things that I want to change. You name it, my mind was on it. And boy did it go on and on and on…

“Negative thoughts stick around because we believe them, not because we want them or choose them.”

Andrew J. Bernstein

That is, until something within me recognized the chaos that was going on my mind. I like to call that something my “inner knowing.” That inner knowing recognized the verbal and emotional assault that I subconsciously inflicted upon myself as I uncontrollably dissected how I could have and should have done things differently, or how the experiences that I was having was somehow less than fair. My observer remained still and awakened to the fact that “it” was not a part of this negative space that was being created within me. This inner knowing knew the truth about life, about my circumstances, and about what is possible for me… and “it” became my great escape from the toxic false reality that I had inflicted upon myself.  Before this moment, I could not see how I was contributing to my own suffering because I would not allow myself to dream a better reality than the one that I was experiencing. The reason I could not dream a better reality is because I would not take my mind off of what was wrong in my eyes.

“Bondage is – subjection to external influences and internal negative thoughts and attitudes.” – W. Clement Stone

After being on this journey for as long as I have, I’d like to think that I’ve learned a thing or two about the truths of life. Thus far, what I know to be true is that the things that you resist in life, will persist. That is to say that whatever one focuses on, and whatever one gives their emotional energy to tends to linger whether positive or negative. This truth lead me to the awareness that I had created a reality for myself that even I disapproved of because I refused to instead shift my attention to everything else that had worked in my favor. In the words of Abraham and Esther Hicks,”I would not let things get good for me” because I was so busy focusing on what I thought was so bad. From this space, it is nearly impossible to welcome any of what God and the Universe has in store for us when we can’t even be grateful for the blessings that we have already.

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” – Mark Twain

It was revealed to me that nothing and no one outside of me had been more instrumental in keeping me from the life that I dream of living than the negative thoughts that I allow to fester in my mind. In this moment, as I share my experience with you, I am thankful for this newfound awareness, for it has now empowered me to know just how much power I have in co-creating my reality.

It is my wish that you will be blessed and brought to a more powerful level of awareness as a result of reading my story. After all, the truth is only a thought that you keep thinking until you believe that its true. DON”T BELIEVE THE LIES!

How much can you relate to my story? I’d love to learn more. Drop a comment below, or shoot me an email at bcstarkspr@gmail.com.

Love,

@BCSTARKS

When life calls you to be more, will you answer?

When I started this blog in 2011, I had no real expectations other than it serving as a source of inspiration for those who needed it. Little did I know, I’d be inspiring myself along the way. Although I don’t post as often as I did when I first started this site, the mere thought of abandoning it would sadden my soul… I know, you’re probably thinking,”Is it really that deep?” The truth of the matter is, it is THAT DEEP, and more.

What I know about life is that we all have gifts and talents. And at different phases of life, we are called to use those gifts and talents in ways that will enrich the lives of others and ultimately make us feel more fulfilled. It goes without saying that my gift and passion lies in counseling and inspiring people. These are the very gifts that I take with me everywhere I go, not matter where I go. In every job I’ve ever had, and every friendship I’ve ever invested in, I have always made it a point to bring more of what my spirit calls me to be to every situation. My goal at this phase of life however, is to become MORE of who I AM.

More recently, I have struggled with being at a job that I have zero desire to stay in. In fact, many mornings I feel anxiety at the mere thought of going to work. It’s not because I don’t like working. I happen to have an amazing work ethic, but I wouldn’t hesitate at the option of being a housewife for a few years. Just kidding (NOT! lol)… 😉 It’s just that nothing about my current job makes me light up inside. That thing that I do so well (inspire and counsel), doesn’t stand a chance to survive nor thrive so long as I remain in my current position. My spirit is calling for my return to those things that feed it. And so here we are.

As I write this post, I am filled with gratitude for this job. Yes, I am grateful for it because it is forcing me to be more of myself. How, you ask? Well, because the more I realize how much this line of work is not for me, the clearer I get about what IS. The more I realize what I’m not great at, the clearer I become about what I do so very well.

Oftentimes it is our greatest failures that push us towards our greatest accomplishments. In this moment, I choose to answer the call of my soul to do more of what feeds it. I choose to honor my soul by not allowing what I do not want to overshadow my deepest desires. I choose to allow the light of my soul to shine brighter by being more of who and what I AM without apology, guilt, nor fear. I am answering life’s call to be more of ME, and it is my hope and prayer that you will be inspired to be more of YOU.

When life whispers, speaks, screams and shouts, will you answer?

@BCSTARKS

Words of Wisdom

Fear is a question: What are you afraid of and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them…

-Marilyn Ferguson

Fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can!! and I will!!

-Napoleon Hill

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place for correction and it’s not so bad. Imagine a set of people all living in the same building. Half of them think it is a hotel, the other half think it is a prison. Those who think it a hotel might regard it as quite intolerable, and those who thought it was a prison might decide that it was really surprisingly comfortable. So that what seems the ugly doctrine is one that comforts and strengthens you in the end. The people who try to hold an optimistic view of this world would become pessimists: the people who hold a pretty stern view of it become optimistic

-C. S. Lewis

True Soulmates and Expectations

Soulmate

Hey there lovies!! I’ve pretty much spent the past week and a half on an adventure. That’s right, I’m doing what I call “gettin’ me some life”. And its been ahhhmazing so far. The the thing I love most about travel and quiet time is that you learn so much about yourself and it gives you time to reflect on whats really important. Which brings me to the topic of relationships…

A few weeks ago I came across the image above on Instagram and I could sooo relate. I’m such a firm believer in relationships shaping and molding us into who we are supposed to be. That is, if we can avoid becoming resentful and bitter by looking beyond the surface of things and finding the lessons instead.

A Course In Miracles presents the idea (also described by author Marianne Willamson in “A Return To Love”) that soulmates are merely a spiritual assignment given to us by God to face the parts of ourselves that we would often ignore otherwise. And contrary to common belief about just who a soulmate could be, ACIM presents the idea that every single relationship that we have in life, whether romantic, platonic, familial, etc… we are all soulmates here in this lifetime interacting with one another for the purpose of somehow advancing mankind towards its original source. LOVE !

Sounds like a bit much to swallow, I know. I thought the same thing.  But as I began to reflect on my life’s journey and started to look back for the beauty of even the most dreadful situations, I realized that they all contributed to the woman I am today. The best version of me yet! And like fine wine, I get better with time… and so do you!

Relationships have taught me that when we are forced to be vulnerable in our interactions and peel back the layers of ourselves that can sometimes be embarrassing and even quite painful to bear, we allow our true transformation to occur. And by embracing that transformation with peace and gratitude, we send signals into the Universe that indicate that we are ready for the next great lesson that will bring us closer to our true selves: the infinite, loving, limitless, all-powerful, and masterfully created spirits that God created us to be.

But when we don’t embrace that transformation; when we are resentful and bitter because things went awry or we refuse to accept our our own or another’s growth and evolution; we find ourselves stuck in a pattern of what seems to be the same relationships replicating themselves through different people and interactions. And we’ve all been there!

The great news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. A mere shift in awareness and the dedication to allow yourself to patient with your  life’s process, as well as respecting the life process of others changes everything. You’ll become so good at this until one day you will realize just how much of a co-creator of relationships you truly are. Then finding the soulmate of your dreams becomes that much more possible.

On that note, check out this phenomenal video by one of my favorite authors Abraham and Esther Hicks on finding a soulmate and the power of expectation. Super inspiring!

Love,

@BCSTARKS

Words of Wisdom: Forgiveness

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

~ Robert Muller

“We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness we have… We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive; but the very fact we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing practice.”

~Louise Hay

“Holding resentment is like eating poison and waiting for the other person to keel over.”

~ Unknown

“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. “

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Some call it an accident, I call it a lesson learned

Ironically, I wrote a similar title for this post with the intentions to blog about a lesson I learned a week ago. However, I didn’t get around to it until a recent experience inspired me to share my lessons.

As the saying goes, when you’re on a journey to great there will be many distractions but you have to stay focused and show Universe that you’ve learned the lessons that it has offered you while on your journey.

I, like many have long wondered why certain things would constantly show up in my experiences or relationships. That is, until I began to understand that everything in life is energy, and that energy “is merely transferred from one source to the next.” Therefore, whatever energy you put out you get back, and it’s not limited to relationships with people, money, material things, and self.

Whatever energy you put into a thing (positive or negative), you will get out of that very same thing.

With this in mind, it recently came to my attention that I too had given off bad energy in certain areas of my life. It all came to a head as I was involved in a minor but scary hit and run accident in which the other driver fled the scene. The easiest thing to do after it occurred was to be angry about how my life had been endangered, as well as the damaged done to my car… which I was. But I was quickly reminded to release the anger by allowing it to subside and give thanks for all that I was grateful for just moments after.

All too often we go through life struggling in ways that even GOD tells us is unnecessary, but we do it anyway. As Oprah recently put it, every other animal species on the planet flees when it senses danger, but human beings are the only species to walk right into it.  In life there are always signs all around us that show when our lives are spiraling out of control based on the energy that we have offered life over time. And sometimes it takes for one to suffer or experience scary situations (sometimes several times) before we become aware of just what we have offered life.

For myself, it had been about me being so consumed with the many tasks of everyday life, that I lost track of what was most important. My family and friends, my health and well-being, and the opportunity to “get it right” the next time. Unfortunately this lesson had to come at the expense of a bashed-in car and little whiplash, but the lessons provided were so great that I now stand more appreciative than resentful of the experience.

It is only when one is given the precious opportunity to become aware of one’s self that he can change for the better and make different decisions. Once aware, there is ample opportunity to take another route and show GOD and the Universe that  you have learned your lessons by doing and thinking differently.

…Which reminds of a song… Although it pertains to love gone wrong, the principles can apply to any aspect of everyone’s life. Enjoy!

Love,

@BCSTARKS

If you make a “sound” decision, STICK WITH IT!

Based on the many lessons that I have, and continue to encounter, I am mostly learning the importance of sticking with whatever decisions I make; as long as when I come to my conclusion about a subject (whatever it may be) I am operating out of my best emotional state (excitement, happiness, creativity, peace, joy, love).

This is rather important because many times we go into situations feeling positive emotions about something, but eventually we get distracted from the good, and begin to shift our focus to those things and circumstances unwanted… which ultimately leaves us second guessing and regretting our choices (and could possibly cause us to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities).

But the idea to understand is that there was a reason why you once felt so great about the conclusion that you drew. The reason is that no vision, especially when it is of “light,” (positive feelings and actions) is ever flawed. If the decision is harmless, to yourself and others, and it feels right, then IT IS RIGHT.

However, its only when you start giving your attention to what’s so wrong about it, that your experience with it becomes so wrong. Everything starts to contradict your initial excitement because your focus has gone from why it’s so great, to your being consumed with why it’s so bad.

I am a firm believer in the power of the human mind to be able to create out of a single thought, whatever experiences and things that one chooses to give their attention to. Look around, every physical thing in life is a perfect example of this idea (airplanes, cars, buildings, businesses, technology, music… all are the result of focused attention/thoughts.

The reason I’ve learned to not walk away from decisions that I make from a positive emotional state, is because when I walk through the process of those choices, I find that the greatest lessons lie there; lessons that are meant to shape us into the very people that we intend to be.

A simple shift in one’s awareness from how bad it is (now) to how great it is (when we first imagined it, and even now, as long as we choose to only entertain the good) will reveal that there is no such thing as a mistake or coincidence when you are operating from SOURCE. If you can continue to exercise faith by walking through your process, then perseverance will show you that none of your focused effort will ever be in vain.

So if you made the decision with the good intentions, stick with it, and in doing so continue to be your best self. Watch how your process turns from obstacle to open opportunity to grow abundantly. When you finally “arrive,” you can look back and say, “It was all a part of my process, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

LOVE,

@BCSTARKS

What inspired you today?

I haven’t blogged in 10 days… Ouch! lol (my bad)

At this very moment it is 4:45 am and my mother is still  up and at her craft, hair (btw, she hasn’t slept since yesterday night). Its pretty late, but when you’re working on making a vision reality, time doesn’t exist and creativity has no curfew.

My mother keeps me inspired because of her willingness to fight for her goals no matter what distractions she encounters.

A while back, she set the goal of revolutionizing the industry that she loves so dearly and has been a part of for more years than I’ve been alive. And she wanted to do it with me by her side. As her one and only baby girl who grew up in the hair industry, it has always been a dream of mine to be a part of something special alongside my mother as well. So for the past three years, we have worked towards our initial goal, and let me just say that it has been quite the journey.

I’ve learned so much along the way, and have overcome many obstacles … or distractions if you will. In fact, these past few days have been minutely challenging for me in many ways. From car problems, to my own uncertainty about which direction to take in certain areas of life (which for many like myself, can be quite overwhelming at times). I’ve even found myself in a bit of a funk as a result of me giving so much attention to the things that were making me unhappy.

But through it all, it has been my mother’s determination and desire to make our vision a reality that keeps pulling me back into the “focus” lane. Distractions seem to come so easy, while focus is what we must battle our minds for. Thanks to my mother and wonderful business partner, I’ve been inspired to remember the power of believing in even the things I have yet to see. Because of her exemplary guidance, I know that the only thing that separates someone who achieves a goal from someone who doesn’t, is whether or not they give up when things get tough.  Some of the things that I have already accomplished in my premature life has been the result of perseverance, dedication, and a burning desire to achieve, therefore I know that all hard work eventually pays off.

I know that this is so because of my momma… who has no intentions of going to bed any time soon. Don’t worry, I’m taking notes and following her lead. We look forward to sharing the next chapter of our journey with the world in the very near future. 🙂

@BCSTARKS + her mother + no rest because we’re crafting and creating = #winning!!!

What inspired you today?

You wish for better, but do you welcome it?

Every now and then we all find ourselves at a particular point in our lives when we wish that things would get just a little bit better.  And boy is it easy to become so consumed with what is going on around you, only to forget about everything that is already “better.” 

During the course of my own life journey I’ve been known to complain here and there about how much I need a break from what life dishes out at me. Yes, guilty as charged. But it’s never really long before I am reminded of the role that I must play, in order for things to lighten up. 

First of all, there’s this little concept called “attitude of gratitude.” The way it works is that when you approach life and situations with the energy and intentions of being grateful, instead of being full of complaints, then Universe will only return to you more things to be grateful for. It really does work this way… TRIED & TRUE!  

But it must be accompanied by an additional action on your behalf. That is, letting go of whatever it is that you have held on to. This can be a number of things such as past relationships, old and new fears, bad habits, criticism of yourself and others, and past hurts and offenses among other things. These are the things that keep you in bondage and can block any and every blessing that the GOD truly intends for you. Without letting go of this excessive baggage, quite frankly you wouldn’t know better if it smacked you in the face.

Think about it, how often is it that you visit places where you know you are not welcomed, especially if  its overcrowded? My guess is that most people naturally avoid such awkward situations. Animals instinctively do this too, and life responds the same exact way. Only the  things that you welcome into your life become a frequent part of your life experience, because it’s what you allow at the time.

Learn to release those things that serve you no good because it’ll only be taking up the space within. If you don’t welcome better with open arms by releasing all things old, then how will the “good” ever come? You must trust that the very things that you are wanting, want you just as bad. But you have to make those things feel welcomed.

@BCSTARKS over and out! 🙂