“Theres gonna be points where people are gonna mistake my confidence for arrogance because they don’t understand the process I went through and how much I had to believe in myself in order to make these things happen. I feel like you can will yourself into a good space. Things that are meant to happen, will. As you believe in yourself enough, you can help yourself learn. You can inspire yourself in different ways… where you can actually discipline yourself to the point that you can become good enough.”
– Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson
I remember being the girl that would just “go with the flow.” Not honoring what I truly wanted in relationships, hardly ever objecting or resisting the suggestions and opinions of others, making their thoughts and ideas more important than my own. Yeah, I USED to be THAT girl… (**cues Meek Mill “Use To Be”)
Nowadays I’ve grown into my own person, accepting and embracing ALL of the WOMAN that I have become. Especially because I’ve worked so hard to become HER. But I’m noticing the strangest thing happening all around me simultaneously. As my evolution brings me closer to my SOURCE, and now that I am understanding and embracing EXACTLY who I AM; as I become more comfortable with myself, and as I express more self-love and become more vocal about my own desires and feelings, I’m noticing that this evolved version of myself doesn’t sit well with everyone.
In the past few weeks alone, I’ve experienced a barrage of criticism from complete strangers, and some friends, involving their perception of me. I’ve heard things such as, “You come off as a little arrogant,” a bit aggressive, cocky, like you might not take direction very well.” I’ve been told to tone it down,”don’t be so articulate, you’ll intimidate people” (Mind you, this has been said to me in regards to my work place mainly). It ALL just COMPLETELY blows my mind!! Can you tell?… For me, it feels weird because I was always the one that was considered “so easy going,”… but I wasn’t happy within. But now… OH BUT NOW!
Had I taken any of this criticism to heart, I would be back where I was years ago when I was insecure, indecisive, and oh so lost… Confidence didn’t come easy for me, its something that I’ve intentionally and diligently worked at. I’ve taken some major blows emotionally and psychologically throughout my life, and ultimately I decided that I wouldn’t allow any of it to define me. Still today it takes constant reinforcement and “reminders to self.” I now embody more confidence than I ever have because I choose to believe in myself, and I completely trust myself to always do whats right and what resonates as true from within me. My life experiences have taught me that no one else has the answers to my path but my SOURCE and I.
Much to my surprise, this recent criticism is something that I am actually learning to embrace. To me, it symbolizes that I am on my path to being exactly where GOD wants me to be, because I KNOW who I AM, and WHAT I want, and I’m not afraid to stand up for that. I’m finally at a place where no one else’s opinion of me, or my life matters. Now being mediocre and going with the flow no longer serves me and my ultimate purpose. I was born with a greatness on the inside of me that had been suppressed and looked over for far too long. And this conscious space that I am currently in is calling me to bring forth this greatness, no matter what it involves or who it offends. “Sorry I’m NOT sorry…” I have a desire to be GREAT in ALL that I do. And I don’t care what anyone thinks, my light will shine brighter than ever before! And it feels soooo GOOOD!
Wishing you ALL Love and LIGHT!
P.S.- Check out the song that inspired this post:[youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=virXiV5KPcM%5D
There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.
The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:
We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves
We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves
We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves
The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves
When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions
When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others
When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us
When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on
When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are
When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives
YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!
These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).
Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.
This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!